You are a Masterpiece…so Live Like you Believe It!

 

I’ve been thinking a lot about how crazy our society has become these days.  The latest of which is, of course, Bruce Jenner and his debut as a woman.  The epitome of manliness in the past, decathlon winner, and all-around amazing athlete has decided he wanted to be something else…something he’s not.

This has made me think a lot about identity.  God has given us all different talents and gifts.  He has blessed us with different callings on our lives based on the gifts he’s given to us, and has equipped us to be who He has made us to be in Him.  If any of you have ever watched the show, “American Idol,” there were people on there that flat out could NOT sing.  As much as they practiced or worked on it, they simply do not have that gift at all.  Just because they decided one day that they wanted to be the next American Idol does not make that who they are.  It doesn’t matter how badly they wanted it, they can’t just go have a surgery and magically be able to sing the next morning.  Maybe nowadays with computers it could be close, but at their core, they are not a singer, and they never will be.  They were not meant to be.  God had something else in mind, but chances are they will never find out what that is if they are constantly trying to be something they are not.

As much as I love nurses and how much they help so many people, I know that is something I could not be.  I do not like needles or blood or any other bodily fluid for that matter and I think if I ever were one, the real nurses would have me as their patient as soon as I started. 

The thing is, we have gotten so far into the “have it your way” culture that we no longer give any value to the truth of who we are.  If we want something, we should have it, even if it completely goes against the truth of God’s laws and simply against Him.  As Christians we are to lay down our lives.  We are to go after Jesus and all He’s called us to be…not simply what we think we want to be.

This also parallels with our identity in Christ.  What happens to the overwhelming majority of people, including Christians, is they allow the wrong voices to convince them of things that simply are not truth.  There is a very real spiritual world out there and there is an enemy who is trying to convince us of an incorrect identity.  If he can get us to believe incorrectly about who we are, then we are not any threat at all to him.  We allow satan to come into our minds and thoughts and try to convince us that we are full of shame.  He convinces us that we are no good and that we could never do anything great for God.  He convinces us that we’re bad parents, bad spouses, or not good enough to do what He has called us to do.  He has labeled us fat, ugly, or failure—and so we live our lives as if these things are true. He tries to convince us that we have to live a perfect life before God can use us the way He wants to.  NOT TRUE.

So many times lately I’ve been convinced that my family would be better off without me around.  This is simply a lie from the enemy and a massive blow to my identity.  Do you understand that me believing a lie about who I am in Christ and living according to that lie is really not much different than Bruce Jenner trying to say he’s a woman?  It’s simply UNTRUE!  It’s NOT who I am. We’re trying to be and acting like something that we are not! 

If God calls me more than a conqueror, than that’s what I am. I can’t be anything else. I’m not a failure.  If God calls me beautiful, than that’s who I am, I can’t be anything else.  I might believe that I am, but it’s simply a lie. If God calls me a good wife, that’s what I am, and I’m growing in it more and more everyday.  If God calls me righteous because of Jesus, then I’m righteous.  These things ARE who we are! We will not become them one day, this is our identity RIGHT NOW.  You know why?  It’s simply because of Jesus.  It’s because of His work on the cross.  It’s because of who He is and what He’s done, not about how I measure up.  No matter how hard I try, without Christ I will always fail.  Period.  He makes me who I am.  He makes me righteous.  If I am living in any other way then I am denying the work of Christ in me; I am focused on me, and not on what He’s done for me.  It’s simply all about Him. ALL about Him. When I look at myself and see a failure, then it becomes all about me, not Him.  I am not a failure.  I can’t be.  It’s not my identity.  God has a plan for you.  He has a plan for me.  It’s not to shrink back and to allow the enemy to identify who we are.  It’s to believe all that God has said of us.  YOU are a masterpiece.  There’s nothing else you could be. God knit you together in your mother’s womb.  It doesn’t matter how much you want to be something else or have someone else's talents…you’ll always be who He made you to be.  He has the final say, so why not believe Him and live this life in the freedom we find in Him? 

God is so good.  Ephesians 2:10—“For we are God’s masterpiece, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”

You are a masterpiece…so live like you believe it!

A Few Lessons Learned from my Son

Tonight our 9 year old son, Stephen, was in a foul mood.  He didn't get what he wanted, so he was mad.  As I was putting him to bed I asked him “what’s the matter?” 

He proceeded to tell me that he was mad.  I asked, “why?” trying to figure it all out. He was mad at me!  I had no idea because I had hardly seen him all day and I had nothing to do with the fact (this time) that he didn't get what he wanted.  I asked him why he was mad at me and he proceeded to tell me that it was something I had done a couple of weeks ago.  Really?  I couldn't believe it! He’s been holding onto this hurt for all of this time and I had no idea why.  I remember an altercation we had a while back, but I thought it was over.  I remember apologizing and what I thought, reconciling with him, but it obviously hurt him very deeply and he wasn't over it yet. 

He was hurt because his Mom can have a very short temper at times.  I remember flat out yelling at him (and apologizing later) for spilling a pitcher of sweet tea on the floor.  I knew when the words were coming out of my mouth that it was wrong, but my inconvenienced anger got the best of me and I let it out.  So many times I get upset with the kids when the house is messy.  My anger flies and most of the time it becomes all their fault.  After all, they are the ones who don’t clean up after themselves. They are the ones who make messes in the kitchen and leave crumbs and plates where they shouldn't be.  Can’t they just get it right?  I mean, I've told them a thousand times!!

Honestly I've learned a lot from this.  One of the first things is, I need to change.  No, I’m not perfect, but if my son is holding on to hurts because of my lack of gentleness, I can’t just say “Well, that’s who I am” and get away with it.  God calls us to live a life that’s a reflection of Him and to GROW!  These actions do not bring Him glory, so I need to humble myself, get on my knees and ask God for his grace to change.

Another thing that I've learned is that words matter.  They matter a lot.  Not only do we need to watch what we say, we can’t just go day to day living life without encouraging our children, or others, for that matter.  People are under attack from the enemy constantly.  Our children are as well and they need our unconditional love and encouragement.  They need to hear that you are proud of them.  They need to hear that they have a great purpose and destiny and that they, indeed are good enough.  They need to hear that they are beautiful, and they need to be listened to and encouraged to pursue their dreams.  Just being silent is not good enough.  Everyone is drawn to someone who makes them feel good about themselves, so hopefully it’s us as parents. 

Another lesson is this:  my kids need to see me getting better.  They need to see me growing in Christ and overcoming my sin and weak areas.  They need to see that yes, I’m broken, but I’m also a powerful child of God with a purpose and destiny.  They need to see me overcome this.  It not only will help me, it will break a stronghold in their lives as well.  If I can overcome the sins that entangle me, it will empower them to take it even a step further.  If I can gain victory in my life over these things that have been passed down to me, then it’s one battle they probably won’t have to face…and if they do, they know without a doubt they can win.

My son doesn't need to be criticized for not keeping his room clean or just left alone to figure everything out for himself!  He is a child and needs my direction and encouragement and love!  My son needs to be reminded all the time who he is, and that no matter what happens, he is loved by us and most importantly by Jesus.  He is a child of the most High God.  He is more than a conqueror.  He is righteous.  He is strong.  He has the same power that rose Christ from the dead.  He can do all things! Greater is the one in him, than the one in the world.  I need to remind him of these truths so that when the enemy comes to lie about who he is, he will not believe it. I guess, though, for me to remind him, I need to know it in my heart, too.  After all, how can I give him something I don’t have? 

TheGift I Never Dreamed Of...

It’s funny how we think we know what we need in life.  The thing is, most of the time we don’t.  We think we know what we can or can’t handle, what we want or don’t want and what will bring us joy in our lives.  I have to say that it is not I but God who always knows best.  We spend so much of our lives in a control mode that most of the time we don’t even ask God what it is that He has for us.  Sometimes He just has to hit us over the head with it, and sometimes even then we push away what He’s trying to give to us. 

The past few years have been a very interesting time for me.  I had no idea that my life would radically change 16 months ago when God added a new member to our family,  Allie.  I was so shocked when I learned that I was going to have her…I even cried for about 3 months straight.  It was not an easy time for me at all, considering that I’m really NOT a kid/baby type person.  I love it when they get older, but I never really know how to handle little kids very well.  I kept playing the difficult scenarios over and over in my mind…sleepless nights, temper tantrums, potty training, and all of the fun stuff that comes along with having a young child. I thought I was done with diapers. I was not wanting this at all—But God had a different plan.  A plan that included one of the most heart warming, beautiful gifts that has ever been given to me.  A gift that, at that time, I didn’t want.  That gift was my surprise daughter, Allie.

Can I just say that this girl has changed my life?  I don’t ever remember enjoying my children as much at this age as I do her.  Maybe I’m just older and know what a blessing she is.  Maybe I know she’s my last.  Or maybe God gave me a second chance to enjoy a season of my children’s lives that I rushed past the first 3 go rounds.  I don’t know, but she’s such a joy in my life.  She makes me smile so much, and for that, I’m so grateful. I can’t even bear to imagine what my life would be like without her now. 

Thinking about her makes me wonder how many other gifts God gives me that I simply don’t accept because I don’t feel like it….or maybe I’ve defined myself in a way that excludes the very thing that God is trying to do in my life to bless me.  I remember saying a couple of years ago over and over… “I’m not a kid person.  There’s no way I could ever watch children or work with kids.”  Literally, just a few months later God put it on my heart to watch 2 children at my home.  And, while I was watching them, I found out that I was pregnant with number 4.  God always knows what He’s doing. 

How many people or opportunities have I pushed away that might be just the answer to a hurt inside of me that needs healing, simply because I don’t feel like opening up?  How many walls have I erected around my heart not letting others in to see the real me, in fear that they won’t really like who I am? 

I could’ve continued to be upset with the fact that I was having another baby and resented Allie for the rest of my life.  I could’ve been angry with God for giving me another child to take care of which, in turn,  “ruined my plans.”  But, instead, I allowed God to change my heart.  Yes, it took time…lots of time, but the very thing that I thought I never wanted was exactly the gift God gave me to show me His great love for me. 

Maybe God is trying to bless you with a gift that you just keep pushing away?

Maybe that gift is Jesus.  Maybe a friend.  Maybe He’s trying to bless you with a new ministry but you’ve been so hurt by something else that you’re not even listening to Him. 

Let me encourage you…keep your heart soft towards God.  He will bless you in ways that you can’t even dream of if you’ll just let Him.  Just look at my gift…What a treasure!

Friend. What a Beautiful Word!

Friend.  What a Beautiful Word!  

      To me there is no more beautiful word in life than the word “friend.”  A friend to me is a precious gift.  A wonderful treasure. Something that we don’t deserve in this life, but God chooses to bless us with, just because.  The word friend and all the meaning behind it for me fills my heart with deep gratitude and love.  Why?  Because I've had such great and amazing friends throughout my life. Some people come and go, but nobody who has ever been a friend to me is ever forgotten.  It’s amazing how one person can change your life forever.  One little friend who somehow makes their way inside your heart, has the power to create so much joy and love that you simply can’t contain it.  One word of encouragement from a friend can change the whole course of your life. 

        It is vital in our lives, as friends, to learn to love beyond measure. To love beyond ourselves and show others their true value.   To treat the ones that are in our lives as the gift that they really are.  Everyone is a gift.  Even the ones who create “problems” in our lives.  You have to remember that someone’s true value comes straight from Jesus.  Remember who He says we are. 

He created all of us and we need to constantly remind those that God has placed in our paths that they are amazing.  Constantly.  All the time. Did I say constantly?  In fact, you can’t tell someone these things too much. It’s simple and the best thing is that it costs nothing!  

        Look at your friend and say these words:  “You are amazing.”  Look at your spouse and say it… “You are a gift.  I thank God for you.”  Tell your children what a treasure they are.  Tell your parents that you appreciate them.  Never stop blessing and encouraging others with your words.  It means so much more than you could ever imagine.

       

        We simply cannot hear these words enough.  If I was reminded everyday by those around me that I’m a blessing, life would probably feel a lot lighter. So, in the midst of it all, I can choose to be that person.  I can choose to love and encourage, and hopefully by doing so it will help others to be that person also. 

        Just so you know the best gift you could ever give someone is the gift of YOU. Your time, your heart, your love.  YOU.  Because you are the treasure, not your actions.

            I can’t ever finish a blog without mentioning my very best friend…and that is Jesus.  He is the ultimate friend of all friends.  He never leaves my side.  Many days I feel alone in this season of my life, but I never am.  I am never alone.  My friend, Jesus, is always right here with me, whispering to me how much He loves me.  Telling me that he will never, ever, leave.  What a friend we have in Jesus.  What a gift He’s given us with His friendship.  What a gift we have in each other.    

Yesterday Was Terrible...But...

Yesterday was terrible.  For some reason it seemed like everything went wrong.  The funny thing is, though, as I look back at what actually happened, there really was nothing that was so much out of the ordinary.

The 3 older kids went back to school after break and I was at home again with Allie, who, I should mention, decided to get up precisely at 5:17am.  I found it quite humorous simply because I had decided to start waking up at 5:15 for my time with Jesus.  So, I wake up and before I had a chance to even turn on the light I hear her crying in the monitor.  No big deal. 

As the day progressed I started feeling quite anxious.  The devil was coming at me from so many different directions, and I simply allowed him to.  It’s like I had a big target on my chest.  I didn't feel like fighting.  It’s much easier to get upset and be miserable than to fight the enemy…so that’s exactly what I did.  I allowed him to temporarily convince me that I had no purpose in life.  That my dreams were worthless, and that I’m, yet again, stuck at home not making a difference in anyone’s life.  Not doing what He’s called me to do.  Something I loved to do was taken away from me, so I totally felt vision-less, worthless and like my life has had and will have no bearing in this world whatsoever.  On top of all that I felt like an extreme hypocrite. 

“How can I write a book about freedom and overcoming all of this when I’m back where I was before?  How can I “Live Free, Like I’m 3,” when I can’t even control my temper and my attitude?  Why can’t I ever get this, God?  In fact, where are you anyway, God?  I know you say you’re here, but I don’t feel you!  Help!”  Then silence…no trace of an answer from God anywhere.  Then, of course, Allie starts in again and the cycle starts all over.  I was alone all day with no one else to talk to…but trapped because of my “gift” that God had given me, and a terrible attitude to go along with it.

This is a cycle I know all too well.  I’ve been here before…in fact, I’ve camped here before for a very long time.  But I know differently now. 

I was so wrong.  The day was bad, simply because I bought into the lies of the enemy.  I know the truth.  I didn't believe it, though.  I wanted to feel bad.  After all, I don’t get to do what I want.  Poor, lonely, me.  

Wait a second...this doesn't sound like Jesus! This isn't the truth! Why is it that my heart wants to focus on the negative?  I have so much in my life…so many blessings, so many people who love me, so many things God has done, not to mention the fact that I have a relationship with the all-powerful, loving, creator of the universe, who I like to call my Father and friend.  Wow.  What was I thinking?  I know now, that the devil’s number one attack is to convince us that we are not who God says we are.  I don’t know how many times I heard in my heart just yesterday, “you’re not a good mom.  A good mom would keep her cool.  A good mom could do the laundry and have it done.  A good mom…etc.”  He almost convinced me again that I was not good enough. 

WHAT?  Wait, stop right there.  I've bought into that before, but NOT AGAIN.  You might be able to make me feel bad, but deep down I KNOW who I am.   I am a child of the almighty God.  I was bought at a price.  I am a beautiful daughter and princess.  I am who GOD says I am.  I AM ENOUGH.  Just because certain days I might not feel like it, the TRUTH is that I am.  The same power that rose Jesus from the dead lives in me.  HE LIVES IN ME!  I can do all things through Christ.  No weapon formed against me will prevail.  I am never alone because God says He will never leave. Not only that, His plans for me are to prosper me, not to harm me.  Plans to give me a hope and a future.  And THAT’s the truth.  I am gorgeous.  Even though I had a baby 3 months ago and I've got some gray hair, I am beautiful.  No question about it.  How is it possible for me to be anything else??  Don’t you get it?  GOD made me.  It's impossible to be anything but what HE made me.  That’s who I am!  Whether or not I believe it or live it is up to me, but at my core I am amazing. I have a purpose. I am loved.  We all are. Every single one of us.  Period. And today, I will choose life.  I choose to believe the truth and to tell the enemy to go back to where he belongs! 

"Thanks be to God, who in Christ always leads us in triumphal procession, and through us spreads the fragrance of the knowledge of Him everywhere." 2 Corinthians 2:14

So You Messed Up and Had a Bad Day? So What?

So You Messed Up and Had a Bad Day?  So What?

Today wasn't my best.  It started off great, and then something happened, which happens honestly just about every single morning.  One of my kids decided they couldn't get ready on time so I lost it.  My impatience overtook me and on a very important day in her life, I got so upset that she began to cry.  Not a good moment at all.  I felt awful and kept wondering why is it that I continually battle against myself?  Why do I let my emotions get the best of me, and then take it out on the very people I love the most?

The rest of the day wasn't terrible, except that after that moment I was on edge.  Everything that went wrong seemed to irritate me to no end, and I was constantly on everyone’s case.  Ugh.  I don’t like when I act like this.  I know that this is not who I am, or who God has made me to be.  So, what do I do about it?

In the past I would feel terrible.  It would completely ruin not only one day, but my week, and on top of feeling guilty for my actions I would feel in the wrong for feeling guilty and letting it control me.  It was a horrible cycle to be in and I just couldn't get out of it…that is, until the power of God moved in my life. 

I realized, by God’s grace, that the problem wasn't necessarily my actions, but it was my identity.  Not only did I feel bad about what I did, I felt bad about who I was.  My actions defined me.  I thought of myself as a “bad mom and a bad wife.”  I thought I was a failure.  I thought I was stuck in a rut, never to be able to change.  I mean, after all, I was a Christian, right, so I shouldn't act this way.  If I’m a Christian already and act this poorly, then how in the world am I going to show others Christ’s love?  I mean, how can I be qualified to love others if I can’t even love my own children right?

This thought pattern is so wrong and such a trap from the enemy.  So what do we do about it?  What do we do when we go down the wrong path one moment or one day and lose it? 

We get back up.  We repent.  We move on.  We don’t let it define who we really are.  That is precisely what I’ve done today.  Yes it’s been bad.  Yes I've fallen short.  Yes, I've missed the mark.  BUT, I've repented.  I’ve asked for forgiveness from my daughter and the others I've not treated well.  That’s all I can do.  My actions today don’t define who I am at my core.  I messed up, but I am a beautiful creation of God.  I am a wonderful mother and wife.  I am free in Christ to be ALL that He made me to be.  I don’t stay down in the dumps anymore. I don’t dwell on it and let Satan try to tell me that I’m no good.  The fact is, I’m great, because God made me that way.  There is absolutely NOTHING else I can be, but great. Nothing!  Whether I act like it every day might change, but I know without a doubt in the core of my being that I am amazing.  It’s just a fact.  It’s the absolute truth. 

In the mean time I will work on my actions so they are more like Christ.  Yes, He convicts me and prunes me because He loves me. His love empowers me to overcome.  Christ does NOT condemn his children.

So you messed up?  What are you going to do about it?  Will it ruin your life?  Ruin your kids’ lives and your family’s life?  Absolutely not!! Get back up and run your race.  You can’t run very fast if you’re always beat up and lying on the ground.  God wants you to know that there is absolutely nothing you can do that He hasn't forgiven.  Receive it, make things right, FORGIVE YOURSELF, and move on.  Yes, it’s that simple.  Jesus paid your debt, you don’t owe anything.  Jesus didn't die on the cross for us to wallow in self pity and condemnation.  He died to set us free.  And We ARE FREE INDEED!! 

thoughts on friends...

Friends. How I love friends.  Sometimes they are just what the doctor ordered.  God made friends, and oh how I thank Him for that precious gift.  Whether the friend comes in the form of a sister, mother, husband or someone else God divinely places in your life, they are a gift.  Whether they encourage you with a word spoken at just the right time or if God uses them to challenge you in a way that’s just plain uncomfortable, they are a treasure. If they get under your skin because of theyway they act or if they are easy to love, they are in your life for a reason. 

Friends to me are simply family in disguise.  I believe just as much as God places us in a family, He also divinely places us with friends.  Friends that are, just like family, entrusted to our care.  We are not to take these for granted.  They are precious, just as family is precious.  Just as much as your children are a gift, so is a friend.  As I once heard it put, blood is thicker than water, but the Spirit is  thicker than blood.  When God gives us brothers and sisters in the Lord, they ARE family.  They are meant to be encouraged, loved, and challenged.  They are meant to be close to our hearts and souls.  We are meant not only to love blood family deeply, but also love the family of God deeply as well.  People are divinely placed in our lives to for us to learn from and be a blessing to. 

So many times when things get tough between friends we want to run.  We want to give up.  After all, they’re not family, so there’s no real commitment there, right?  Can I be honest with you?  I believe friends are for eternity.  When God puts them in your life we are to be committed to them.  We are to be the best friend we can be.  Sure, you can’t be that way with every person that crosses your path, but you know which ones play that part in your life.  There are people you know are in your life to bless you, challenge you and to encourage you.  Just like with family, there are some friends that are simply a bit strange and very difficult to be around.  But without them, our lives would simply be dull. 

I have many friends, and what’s great is that every single one is different.  Every one of them challenges me in a different way.  I’m called to steward these precious people the best way I know how.  They are gifts.  They might only be in my life for a season, but they are in my heart forever.  God calls us to be friends with certain people He knows we need.  Sometimes it’s not always who we want it to be, but it is always who is best for us and our growth. 

I have learned so much about friendship.  Loving someone when you don’t feel or receive love in return is key.  Friendship is always putting yourself out there. Friendship is always about the other person, never about you.  Friendship is not about what you can get from someone, but what you can give to them.  Friendship is loving someone in spite of their flaws…and enjoying the differences. Friendship is vulnerability. Friendship is commitment…even when someone lets you down, you love.  After all, that’s what Jesus does, right?  Friendship is giving, receiving, and always laying down your life for the other.  Friendship is fun.  Friendship is fulfilling.  Friendship spurs you to be closer to the ultimate friend…the perfect friend, Jesus.  He’s the friend we all aspire to be like.  The friend who sticks closer than family.  The friend who constantly pursues even though He is rejected over and over again.  The one who gave up His life for us. 

How about you?  Do you give up your life for the people God placed in your path?  I’m not talking about your kids here, but the relationships outside of your family…We all give up our lives for our children to a degree.  Do you lay down your time for a friend in need?  Do you lay down your life for others?

Sounds an awful lot like marriage, doesn't it?  It’s NEVER about what we can get.  We need to get all we can from Jesus.  Be full of His love and acceptance and then Go out and give.  Give love with no expectations. Love and be grateful for everyone God puts in your life.  You never know when they won't be there anymore!